Chester Bennington, the man who helped me from depress


I became a big fan of Linkin Park because I like Chester Bennington. Actually, I was not a big fan of heavy metal or alternative. I was fancy with boy bands, dance and pop songs. When I was 17. My father passed away and mother had new boyfriend. Me . brothers and sister stayed with Grandparents. At that time, my life was blur. I didn’t know how my life was to be. It was lucky. My aunt (Father’s sister) took me to Bangkok for admission in University.
On 2000, Chester Bennington appeared on MTV. “One Step Closer” was the first song. I never heard who scream like an evil but his voice was like angel. Linkin Park was famous in the same time with Lim Bizkit and Blink 182. I crashed on Chester. It was probably , he was my type. I followed him. Linkin Park’s song influenced my attitude. Sometime, I didn’t care the world. I love to be myself. Theirs music expressed my feeling better than my words. My favorite songs are Numb and From The Inside. Not many people know how much I’m crazed of Chester Bennington because of my personality was girly. People didn’t notice who was my idol. I found out the brighter day once again.

2008 was the worst year of my life. I faced the difficult thing while I was pregnant. I almost committed suicide for runaway of everything. “Numb” and “From The Inside” changed my mind. Like the lyric said

  • I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
    -Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
    Furthermore, I used Linkin Park’s song for my baby’s lullaby. (Doctor recommended Mozart)

My son gave birth on April 2009. Yes, of course. I called him “Chester”. My son is representative of two things that I love. Firstly, my husband and I knew each other because of we like Linkin Park’s song.
It was the first topic for our chatting. The second, I really like Chester Bennington. How awesome, I can call my son “Chester” everyday. I grown up and be stronger as same as Linkin Park’s evaluation.

Until 20Jul2017, I was shocked that I lose my beloved singer. I spent 17 years to listen and support my favorite band. What happen! Honestly, it was too heavy for me to accept the truth. I closed myself and shut down the news. I didn’t want to hear anything about his funeral. I was depress and upset myself. He came to Thailand many times. I lost opportunities to meet him. I never met him in person. I never seen him live.
Watching Linkin Park’s concert with my son is my dream. My dream was over. No more Chester, no more dream.

I couldn’t express how I feel, how I pain. First night, I cried almost 2 hours. I felt hurt when I heard “One More Light” People surrounding me was worry what I act. I’d like to tell them that I’m fine. I need time to heal my losing.Chester is not just the singer but he is my inspiration to alive. I have my own "Chester"
I will raise him up to be bright like my angel.

…I’d like to say Thank you for cheer me up…
…You are in my mind forever…

From Bangkok with Love
Pinky Shaughnessy