Chronicles of Misery


#21

For example, I pictured that as a funny thing, cause you were all focused and they kinda tricked you… I know I shouldn’t laugh at it… :see_no_evil: and now it’s less funny lol


#22

Please do. I was actually considering going with them, but the pull of Lego is too strong. :joy:


#23

I can relate group projects they dont work
Because i am normally the smart one i the group
I could go on about my dislike for group work
And give you all sorts of examples but i will just leave it at that


#24

I just want to make a general comment here. I’m looking for all kinds of feedback, if the entry was shit, you tell me that it was shit. Don’t sugar coat things to spare me the feelings I never had. Likewise, tips are also welcomed.


#25

I’m going to read them now.


#26

They’re both in the OP.


#27

I read them.

And I’d summary all in one word: irony (one of my favorite words, btw). Despite the fact that I am not an engineer, but a teacher, I can you that I lived the same as you. So I understand you and my only advice could be: f*ck them all! Even you, being an idiot, are more cooperative and function than many of the people around you.

About the other history: it’s nice that at the end you found fun live in that room.

To be honest, and I don’t know why, I pictured you as YouTuber :joy:

About the structure:
To me is fine! It has its order, you write short paragraph and use a basic English (what I really thank you because in other case I would need a dictionary for the majority part jaja), also you keep clean the point and you are direct (no like me, I tend to hide a lot of things).

Great work. I will be waiting for the next one.


#28

:scream:

SHOTS FIRED!!!

Everyone else get your popcorn ready, it’s the battle of the authors :fire:


#29

I’ll take all the feedback I can get. Thanks @IronSoldier16. But for now, I’m heading to sleep.


#30

It’s ok. Goodnight.


#31

I am happy here,love to read all this post
Make my time relax, thxsm guys &girls
Now i found time , my job take more
as i want, so this Team are my hollyday


#32

Glad you enjoyed it. The next entry might be out in the next few days depending on how lazy I’m feeling.


#33

Nice :ok_woman:
That ok nobody are perfect
Anyway enjoy your peaceful time
I hope you have amazing day


#34

Looking forward to it! You can tag me when it’s done :slight_smile:


#35

I can’t wait to read it


#36

Yep- time for another bitterfunny story - tag me too :v:t2: Please


#37

So, here it is, finally, entry 3. This one is titled Digital Cancer and it’s about my never ending war with technology and W10 in particular. I tried to make this one more humourous than the last entry. It was tricky keeping this one coherent and on point without me flipping out. Even the mere thought of W10 is enough to ruin my mood these days. I’ll be updating the OP in a bit…

Entry 3: Digital Cancer

Entry 3: Digital Cancer

Technology, from what I’ve been told, it’s supposed to make life better for humans, supposed to make it easier and more efficient to do a plethora of things. I say that’s all a load of bullshit. Technology exists for the sole purpose of tormenting me in new and innovative ways. Ever since I was introduced to technology it has had a personal vendetta against me. There are many instances of this, but I will focus on three main pieces of technology.

Exhibit A, ‘smartphones’. Smartphones, why do they call them ‘smart’ when all they do is think of clever new ways to infuriate me with their stupidity? I’ve only ever owned three smartphones, an LG Cookie, an S3 mini and my current S7. Though to be honest, calling the LG a smartphone is a bit of a stretch, so for the purposes of this rant we’ll focus on the Samsungs (and also because I can remember next to nothing about the LG). Ownership of an S3M wasn’t too bad, for the most part it behaved itself and did as it was told. But, alas, like a well-trained dog having an off day, it would usually misbehave badly at the worst possible time. This could range from various apps crashing randomly to it dying on me despite it having 50%+ battery. Of course, as it got older, problems became more annoying and more frequent, from notifications not showing up to it glitching out completely. Such as the time when half of the screen was in landscape, the other half in portrait, the whole thing was flickering as if I’d hit it with a hammer and my touches would register 3cm to the left of where I actually touched the screen.

My current S7 has a different set of annoying characteristics, like random battery curve drops, notifications having a mind of their own, most apps being broken, emails opening to the bottom of the message in Outlook and other such issues. Then there’s the size of the blasted thing, I have to take it out of my pocket before I sit down in most seats, otherwise I physically cannot sit down. Most of these problems seem to be exclusive to me as I’ve had friends and family with the same phones and they haven’t had any of these issues. This is a trend you’ll start to see.

Exhibit B, computers. I just can’t seem to catch a break. No matter where I go, or what I do, there will always be a computer close by to make my life hell. Let’s begin with the software side (for Windows 10, view Exhibit C). I seem to be the only person on Earth who has every single software they use go wrong for them. The best example of this is school, college and uni. Whether it be something as simple as MS Office or something more specialised like a simulation package, it usually goes wrong for me in a one-of-a-kind way. For instance, every single workshop / lab session in my first year of uni was 2.5h where I would rage against the machine and then do a mad dash at the end to get everything done. I was the only one who had to repeatedly swap computers, restart computers and scrap and restart whole files because nobody knew what was happening, despite my exact following of the instructions.

Then there’s the hardware side, this can range from keyboards and mice not working properly to being able to literally cook food on the CPU. As frequenters of the tech thread will know, laptops seem to loathe me most out of such devices. Finding a good laptop is like finding a politician that doesn’t talk out of their arse. I’ve been through four or five not-so-cheap laptops that wouldn’t go amiss in Gordon Ramsay’s kitchen as a cooker. 98C on all four CPU cores while the computer is idling on the desktop isn’t normal, no matter which way you spin it. It took ~£1200 (£1000 with a discount code) to get a laptop and not a cooker. Problem solved, right? Sort of, the cooker issue is gone, but now we move on to the main exhibit.

Exhibit C, Windows FUCKING 10! No amount for words can be used to describe and explain the sheer, untold, torment, misery and hatred this entity from hell has caused me. I have been waging war on it since it came out. There’s a reason it was free when it came out, malware is always free, its sole purpose is to make your life as wretched and unbearable as possible, and W10 is no exception.

W10 is the digital cancer from the title of this entry, so far it has infected both laptops that I’ve owned, and both are suffering. I could write an entire book series that logs my misfortune with it, but for this entry, I’ll just keep to a few (of very many) examples, mainly the major ones. I’ll start with my HP and then move onto my current Dell.

The first time W10 started playing dirty was when I was in college (second year I think). I was typing up an assignment in the evening that was due the following morning. I had my USB stick plugged in and had one version of the assignment open from my USB stick and another open from the backup on the laptop’s HDD. So, there I am, typing away past the 2K word mark, making good progress, almost finished, when suddenly, my laptop crashes. At first, I wasn’t fazed since I had saved both copies very recently and maybe lost 5 lines of text from each. I was irritated at best. The horror struck me when I went back to open my documents. I first went to open the one from my laptop, only to be greeted with a corrupted file message, at this point my irritation is growing bigger, but never mind, I still had the version on my USB stick. So, I go to check my USB stick, only to find that the entire bloody thing had been wiped clean. There was not a single folder or file on there. I had just lost that evening’s assignment as well as all the work on the USB (luckily, I had it all backed up on my laptop, so not all was lost - apart from the one assignment). The loss of that assignment almost made me cry that night, because it had been such a pain to write. Being the top student in a class of spanners has its privileges though, so I sent my teacher an email and went to him the following morning, thankfully, he gave me a two-day extension and I managed to redo it.

The next time I got majorly screwed over was when I was sent into a hard shutdown / restart loop after an update. It’s exactly as it sounds; the laptop would do a random hard shutdown and then it would restart and would then do a hard shutdown in the middle of the restart and this would go on for a literal hour. I read tales online of something like this happening to people from a previous update, but as is the case, I had it worse. Because at least those people could get to their desktops for a few mins, I couldn’t even get to my lock screen. I can’t remember what the solution was, but I was dealing with it for a few days. I can’t remember any other instances of that magnitude.

Now, the Dell, W10 REALLY loathes this laptop. The moment I press the power button after taking it out of the box I’m greeted by a blue screen telling me that Windows has crashed. Good going, Microsoft. After spending a couple of hours setting it up and clearing all the junk from it, it wanted to update and restart, so I let it. When I got back in, it started glitching out, my taskbar vanished and key programs like the file explorer were gone. The only fix was a full factory reset…on a laptop that was less than TWO HOURS old. Over the next month and a bit, I had to do two more factory resets for reasons that I can’t remember, but clearly it was something serious.

Then came the worst one yet after an update (surprise, surprise). I lost one of my USB ports completely (it was only powered) and the other wouldn’t stop spamming me with overload notifications if I plugged or unplugged anything. As well as all of that, I lost my fingerprint scanner. The scanner wasn’t that big of a deal (despite me paying £15 extra for it), but with one port used by my mouse, I had no ports left. I was up for over 24h trying to fix the issue. Nothing I tried worked (including a fourth factory reset), I ended up contacting Dell and they had no clue either. They ended up sending an engineer to swap out the mother board…on a laptop that was less than two months old. The laptop was under warranty, but their policy is to repair not replace.

And finally, the last issue I had as of the time of writing this entry was with temps and my graphics drivers, again, these were caused by an update. At first, I was experiencing weird temp spikes while browsing and my laptop was freezing after every time I woke it up. I ended up discovering that an update had somehow slipped through without me noticing. I ended up trying a load of processes again, but in short at one point my display drivers died on me so I’d log in and my screen would die on me. After several hours of hard shutdowns, I managed to get in and update the BIOS and then I was back to square one. A couple more hours and I managed to get back in to delete and reinstall the drivers. That ended up fixing the problem and the heat issue also vanished for some reason.

It’s been a good two months since my last skirmish with W10, which can only mean one thing, something’s coming, something big, and soon. I can only prepare so well for it, but I’m certain it will be very bad. It’s been smooth going for too long. This entire sorry saga reminds me of that scene from the film i Robot. The one where Spooner is driving in the tunnel and gets surrounded by transport trucks full of homicidal NS5s and just as the doors open he says, “there’s no way my luck is this bad.” For me it’s like that, except I’m fighting W10 and I’d take the possessed NS5s any day. I honestly don’t know how to end this entry on a positive note, except that one day I might get to meet Bill Gates in hell and tell him exactly what I think of his monstrosity.

Here’s the poll for the next entry.

  • Inferno
  • Paid self-sabotage for the lazy
  • Collateral damage
  • Excuses for misanthropy
  • Alien
  • Petty grudge
  • *Forum members to come up with title *

0 voters

@rickvanmeijel
@theearlywalker

If you want to be tagged, drop me a reply.


#38

Sorry but this part had me falling on the floor


#39

Thiiiisss!
Lmaaaooo to W10 stories!! :joy: :joy: :joy: I really hope w10 engineers read your story and FINALLY understand “what they’ve done” !! :woman_facepalming:
Buut! Your version was so hilarious!! :joy:

This!! :joy: :joy:


#40

Honestly your style of writing reminds me of a newspaper column, or the feulleton… your way of writing is really british- that mixure of understatement, fatalism and dry jokes accompanied by methaphorical comparisons is just brilliant.

I especially enjoy the step by step descriptions such as with the lost homework- as I literally feel your anger and desperation growing- not to underline that it’s not that I enjoy that this happened to you- and it has a good end on top- but it really moves my emotions and that’s the best that can happen from a written word…

It left me rofl :rofl: and therefore I say thanx and voted!