Chronicles of Misery


With a bit of luck, I’ll be getting the next entry out tomorrow, but I can’t make any promises.


Excuse me in Africa that one killed me :joy::joy:

Ohh thank you I think I gotta get bored then I’ll stop giving a shit about peeps in this motherfucking life I think I have to try getting bored I need to urgently though
I need tips bro gimme some quick @the_termin8r
Well reminds me how I’ve recently been ranting on life
Each day getting older
Teenage life I’ve never been able to enjoy properly
In 2 years will turn 18 and will probably go to uni maybe I don’t even know if I would
Or going to work
If I don’t pass well these motherfucking Cambridge exams I’ll probably be jobless and just selling mangoes in the corner or worst stealing to earn a living life is just a cycle that it so boring though I understand you
Now you say going to uni you’ve gotta learn again then most probably at the same time working then what?Learn Work Home Sleep and then punks say enjoy life cuz life is short sorry but I don’t see it as enjoyable
Sometimes I wish to be an animal or an object life is much better this way
And then peeps ask me what I wanna do in the future
Excuse me but I don’t have any visions for the future
I don’t know what I want to do like to work
Fuck life


Um okay. That’s nice to check out your writings.

I could read only half of one today. I’ll be reading all tmro and let you my feedback :blush:


With a bit of luck, entry 7 will be out this evening.


Here it is, entry 7, this one is called Petty Grudge and is about being the older sibling. Hopefully some of this is actually funny, I couldn’t work that many twisted metaphors and similies into this one for some reason. I think this is a 50/50 entry.

Entry 7: Petty grudge

Entry 7: Petty grudge

Those of you reading this entry that are the older sibling will relate to the misery of being in such a position. The title says it all, as older siblings (no matter how old we get) we’ll always hold a petty grudge against our younger siblings for the simple reason of them just existing. Or is the reason so simple? Well, below are a few instances that would hopefully justify an unjustified grudge.

Funnily enough, my problems didn’t start from the moment my sister was born, as is the norm, I was almost forgotten about by my parents, but that didn’t bother me at all since I’ve always been a solitary person, even as a kid. If anything, I was kind of happy to be left to my own devices for a bit. The problems started when she was old enough to walk, talk and actually do things.

The parental favouritism and hypocrisy is what has most been driving me up the wall for the best part of a decade now. Every time there’s some kind of squabble between us (and they happen often, we’re almost always at each other’s throats), I’m always the one that comes out in trouble and she gets away clean, even if I did nothing wrong. A good example is our last trip to Europe, final night in the final hotel in France. I was sitting on my bed fiddling with the McDonald’s toy she’d gotten that day, when suddenly she swipes at my head with something (it was a magazine, but at the time I didn’t see, I just saw something big and rectangular coming for my head). Instinctively, I put my hand up to block (while holding the toy), my sister misses and scratches her finger on the toy. She let out a shriek akin to that of a cat in a hydraulic press. My parents immediately come over and start shouting at me for attacking her, I explain that I didn’t, and they sort of believed it and gave her the most limp-wristed telling-off I’ve ever seen. It was something along the lines of ‘don’t do that again’ and then they turned back to me and continued lecturing me on how I should behave like an adult. I didn’t even attack her, I moved my hand up, not up and forward, it wasn’t defence through attack (my usual reflex), it was just plain defence.

The ‘incident’ wasn’t a case of me taking her toy without her permission, she’d given it to me. It turned out that it wasn’t even an attack, she swiped at my head as some kind of joke (not intending to hit me). I ended up winning the argument against my parents before she even owned up to it. I won because I told them that they’d just proven a point I’d made not 30 mins ago. I’d said to my mum that the entire time we’ve grown up, I’m the one getting in trouble every time and that if I come to them to sort out an argument (instead of dealing with it myself in my own way) as they’ve told me to, I still get in trouble. My mum immediately denied it. The moment I brought that up during the argument, both my parents shut up, and then my sister owned up to it…and she still didn’t get into any real trouble.

Then there’s the aspect of being the lab rat as an older sibling, in that everything is done to you first and then your sibling. It has come to the point where I get most of the presumed-shit stuff first and my sister gets the presumed-nice stuff first. I’m always the first in the dentist’s chair (not that I care) always the first to go through the pain of whatever is happening at the time. But if it’s something nice, it’s always her. Even in retrospect, she got her first phone at a much younger age than I did, she got to do a load of other things at a younger age too. And all of this is not because she’s a girl, I know my parents well enough.

There’s another truck-load of such stories, but I’ll skip those and briefly mention the more trivial annoyances that I have to put up with. For instance, the TV, I can never get to it even if she isn’t watching it. She’ll have something on, but she’ll be doing something completely different like reading or playing on her tablet and even having her headphones on. I’d make a move for the remote and she’d play the ‘I’m watching that’ card (when she so clearly isn’t), then my mum would activate her selective hearing and immediately tell me off without even giving the situation any thought, it’s like a reflex for her. Then there’s the fact that my sister never fights her own arguments or fights, she always gets my mum to fight them for her. Her hatred of leaving the confines of the house also means that we don’t usually go anywhere interesting. That’s also in part down to my dad because he doesn’t usually go anywhere without the entire family (which is awesome that he looks out for all of us), but, FUCK! You can afford to forget about them for a couple of short outings. We tend not to do a lot of father/son bonding activity types of things, and that’s partly down to her.

This is probably the part where I’m supposed to say something that makes everyone go ‘aww’ and…well…here goes. Regardless of what I’ve said above, she’s still my sister and I have to tolerate her, after all she tolerates me. And it’s worth it, because in those brief moments in which we’re not hurling insults at each other or fighting, it’s quite good. I’d still prefer it if I were a lone child, because it means that I won’t get in trouble, but it’s not all bad. The thing about me not getting in trouble when she’s not around is a proven fact that my parents have witnessed and still refuse to believe, when she’s not here, I don’t get in trouble. My parents have even made comments about how well behaved I’ve been (obviously not linking it to her absence). As I said though, a petty grudge. Not sure if it will ever go away or not, maybe someday.

Here’s the poll for the next entry. Only 3 titles left. This will close next friday (26/10/18) at 21:00 BST.

  • Paid self-sabotage for the lazy
  • Collateral damage
  • Excuses for misanthropy

0 voters



:joy: :joy: :rofl: That’s a nice COM! :grin:
:raising_hand_woman: younger sister here loool! :joy:
Now, seriously… :thinking: well some things you said were true till a certain age… like the fact I had/did something at a younger age… but I wasn’t (and I’m not) the kind of person that want something because she had it…
As for the “scolding”, it was the contrary for me: even if I didn’t do anything I usually was the one scolded… :sweat_smile:
Well, actually me and my older sister didn’t fight so much and never for serious reasons… :grin:


Cool man! This is totally something I could relate to. I’ll have to read it tomorrow though.


Great story Rob


Hahaha it’s nice to see the point of view from an older brother! I’m a younger sister myself to an older brother! I can assure you that when one of you move out for uni or whatever this dynamic will change and you both will become close.

My brother and I used to get into trouble differently based on situations. So we used to take the fall for each other depending on who would get into less trouble :joy:


:joy::joy: what a black and white painting- to see life this way is really boring- I absolutely agree.

This whole text is like a big grind that needed to be set free- that’s at least what arrived myside. So I - as the probably exact opposite of you- as in finding the good in the biggest shit- and able to reframe everthing to a bit something positive and funny - is unable to understand somebody thinking like you. The good thing is- I don’t have to understand how you manage to stay this unaffected from everything- but

the next is that this 6th COM is probably the most personal that you wrote so far and I really understand what you are describing… let me tell you one thing: inbetween this things like working and dying there are happening a few things like moments of luck, happyness and love- and even if ite it doesn’t really matter- remember that day for example that you spent with AJ and Eva- and that is what counts-

life happens in relationships - in sharing experiences and in the feeling to have friends… that’s what your text inspiated me to say, see- you are an inspiration and I look forward to COM 7 :grin:



I think you might have taken that one a little too seriously, thanks for the feedback none the less.

I put it out last night. :stuck_out_tongue:


:joy:- lol - really didn’t see it- so I can go on reading now- thank you :blush:


Lol :joy: very personal again, and it’s so dry written that I laughed entirely while I was reading it

Now I gonna vote for the next- which I’m looking forward to again :stuck_out_tongue:


Fixed, thanks.


imagining that sound

noone knows

reminds me of the little cousin ive got who i hate so much i wished she didnt exist

i remember fighting a lot with my elder bro but the day he went to another country i fucking cried soooooooo much


My sister would cry tears of joy. :joy:


she is that evil daayyyymn
mine was tears of miss and sadness


Looks like Collateral Damage has won, I’ll try and release it in the next few days.


Sorry for the delays, everyone. I’ve been quite busy recently. To make up for it, I’ll release both Collateral Damage and Excuses For Misanthropy today.


Entry 8 is about my thoughts on family holidays, it’s noticably shorter because the source of misery is always the same on all of them and I can’t write as much without repeating myself.

Entry 8: Collateral damage

Entry 8: Collateral damage

You know, I was under the impression that family holidays are supposed to be fun for all. I mean, after all, you spend your days having fun around your family…supposedly. As you can probably tell by now, that’s not what these entries are about. On family holidays, I’m usually the collateral damage. Family holidays stopped being fun and started being mostly chores several years ago. Probably around the time I lost my humanity to boredom.

For the past few years, family holidays have been nothing but temper tolerance tests for me. Whether it be the locations we go to, the activities we do or otherwise, there’s always something to ruin the potential fun. I’ll start with our last holiday since it was a couple of months ago and is still fresh-ish in my mind. We drove across western Europe (Germany being the destination) and spent most of the time either shopping or going to theme parks. I was dragged to Europe to go shopping and to go to shitty theme parks. Like our ones weren’t enough. I have never once been to Europe to go on holiday like a normal person. I’ve been to Germany four times; all four times were for shops and theme parks. I’ve been to France three or four times where we’ve stayed and driven through about another four times. The four times that we stayed were all for Disneyland.

But anyway, back to the last holiday. The first day wasn’t too bad as it was mostly traveling, we passed through France, Belgium and Luxembourg and stopped off in a couple of places. The first night though was a nightmare (just like all nights). When we go on holidays we all share one bloody room (since we only stay a night or two per hotel) and everyone but me likes to sleep in a sauna. I’ve asked if I could pay for my own room and the answer is usually no, because it’s not worth it (they have point), but I’ve also asked if I could sleep in the car (that’s how desperate I got) and the answer was still no. Temperatures usually reach a minimum of 27C and humidity reaches a minimum of 70%, and that’s only what my thermometer can pick up, being there in person is a lot worse. Four people in a small room with no open windows and the aircon turned off means I get two hours of sleep if I’m lucky.

Running on two hours of sleep is enough to ruin anyone’s mood (especially when it was totally preventable), now imagine that and then having to spend the day in a noisy and crowded shopping area or theme park. Yeah…you can see where this is going. To make things worse, I came down with some kind of cold / flu halfway through the holiday and still had to try and sleep. Of course, that didn’t happen; what actually happened was me being 42h sleep deprived and having to spend the next day in a theme park that had a bigger crowd on the Monday than on the Sunday before it.

On the odd occasion that we do something other than theme parks or shopping, the fun is usually ruined by my mum or sister. Neither of which like traveling or walking at more than 2mph. A few years ago, we went to Switzerland for a day (the main reason for the trip was to go shopping and to theme parks in Germany…go figure). I’d been wanting to go to Switzerland forever and my dad had finally convinced my mum and sister to travel to there. We got there, and it was amazing, but alas, the fun was ruined by my sister who had suddenly and inexplicably developed a fear of heights. That meant we could only get up to about 2224m when the roads went a hell of a lot higher. I’d waited years, tolerated four days of theme parks and shopping to go to the Swiss alps only for it to be ruined by my sister, we didn’t even get 2h in the mountains. Her fear of heights and her (as well as my mum’s) refusal to walk more than 200m in one go also ruined the only decent day we had in Germany on the last holiday too.

When we go on holidays to potentially interesting places it’s always ruined because there’s all sort of cool stuff to do and see, but all we ever do it go shopping. All of it is because of my mum and sister. My dad is getting fed up of it too at this stage. My sister is the sort of person who wouldn’t walk to the end of our road unless she absolutely had to, and she seems to not like trying new things. My mum also seems to love the great indoors, but she can be excused because she’s a legend. My sister on the other hand…not so much. I dread the next family holiday, because we’ll in all likelihood be going to Europe for shops and theme parks…for the 8th time.

I’ll set about writing Entry 9 now, I should have it done in a couple of hours.