Chronicles of Misery


#121

Reading it know :blush:

My condolences and I feel you- the best writing flow imo is from the third to the fourth paragraph- I would have loved it if you were going on with digging deeper into the misery from that day - like what happened that day exactly with this flue and the 42hrs of sleep lack… like describing the whole way from sucking to bad to worse to worst case - like you already do- but with a - in that case “worst end” to make the reader rofl…

For me the more details you add the more I feel you and can- with the distance of being only the reader - laugh out loud- to cringe partly- that’s absolutely cool :blush: this one is my favorite so far :joy: thank you for this :clap:t2:


#122

I think you meant spend rather than send

Nicely written! I’m sorry you don’t get a chance to do what you would like! I am hoping the next family vacation is better than you expect it to be. I love reading your stories


#123

I didn’t for two reasons, 1) I’ve ranted about it before in other places. 2) COM is starting to feel a chore and I just wanted to finish the entry. lol

There wasn’t much to say, that day was day 2 in the theme park with the ride table that I made.

I do, thanks. :stuck_out_tongue:


#124

Entry 9 is ready, if it wasn’t blatantly obvious, I was pretty pissed off writing this one. At one point I said some not-so-nice things about Americans. Americans reading this, don’t take it personally. This entry is obviously about my acute misanthropy.


Entry 9: Excuses for misanthropy

Entry 9: Excuses for misanthropy

Why are people so loathe-able? Well, to answer my own question, it’s, because the mass populace is a swirling mass of stupidity, ignorance and incompetence. To be honest, I don’t need to come up with excuses for misanthropy, because sometimes it is so obviously justified. But I’m going to do it anyway because I’d have nothing to write for the next few paragraphs.

I’m going to dispense with the waffle and get straight to the first group of ‘people’ I loathe. NFL fans, up until a week ago, they weren’t even on my radar, they were just something for me to laugh at occasionally. That all changed last Sunday when I had to change trains at Wembley Park station. For some genius reason, some retard had decided that hosting an NFL championship in the UK is an excellent idea. I’ll tell you just how excellent it is, you try getting through a drove of fat, useless, stupid, fucking, retarded, drunken, mindless, slack-jawed, mouth breathing Americans. These fuckwits make regular rowdy football (actual football) fans look like model citizens. The crowd was so bad that the station had to be temporarily shut to ease the congestion. I nearly drowned in blubber that evening, they stampeded in the moment the train doors opened, not even giving a chance to the people trying to get off. I then had to barge through all of them to get to the other platform, as I was doing so, not one of the oafs made even a slight attempt to make some space, and they all smelled like they’d drank 5L of beer (because they probably had). The whole thing looked like an evacuation scene in a zombie film. Americans, please, just don’t travel anywhere, please stay ignorant and stick to ruining your own country.

The next bunch of idiots are the majority of people on public transport, especially on the underground. The behaviours that drive me insane are ones that stem from a lack of common sense. Such as idiots that put their dirty feet up on the seats that people will use later. Or the douches that put their bags on seats which could be taken by standing people. By far the most annoying behaviours involve the train doors, both when getting on and off. When getting on, the idiots that stand at the doors drive me insane, especially when the doors start closing and they see me running to get in, but don’t move out of the way inside, so the doors end up clamping my bag (with that being said, I feel sorry for the doors that clamp my bag as they will lose that fight). Getting off is even more irritating though, I usually tend to be the first at the door because I want to bolt out and avoid the crowd. As the train pulls up I’m scanning all the people on the platform and planning my route for when the doors open. It boils my blood when the train pulls up and all the twats outside converge on the centre of the door, because I have nowhere to go and I have to instantly recalculate. But by far the worst, is when I don’t manage to be first at the door and I’m second or third because there were already people there. It’s annoying because they stand there as if they’re rushing to get out and then dawdle along while holding everyone up. This is the worst when I’m actually running late because of the train (stay tuned for the next entry).

The final group of imbeciles is the one with all the idiots that can’t even walk properly. When I’m walking my mind is always running like a computer, I’m always calculating the best route through and around people, how to best match my speed to what’s happening, always paying attention to what’s happening around me, anticipating things before they even happen and adapting pre-emptively. My mind is never at rest, that’s why I can weave and squeeze through the tightest crowds (other than that hoard of Americans) at lightning speeds, because I can see things before they happen, and I calculate for them.

This cannot be said for other people, as it turns out, other people have no spatial awareness at all, they have no concept of what is going on around them and they can’t get on the same line of thought as me when they see me coming the other way and it’s clear what my intentions are. This shows in the way they walk, whether they just get in my way or don’t realise that I’ve been walking 30cm behind them for the last 5 mins trying to get past. This is exactly the sort of stuff my dad rages about on the roads. How hard can it be to walk around without being a spanner? The arrogant bitches with the prams have earned themselves a dishonourable mention here. You know exactly the ones I’m on about. The ones that are coming the other way, you move over to the side and expect them to also move over a bit, because there’s usually enough space for both of you to pass comfortably, but instead they go right down the middle and either push you into a hedge or into the road. If there isn’t space, what are you doing in the tight bit first, you clown? Let them through first. Tools buried in their phones need to be briefly mentioned too. Get off your fucking phone and look where you’re going, others shouldn’t have to walk stupid lines because of you! If you really need to text, go off the side somewhere, stop, text and then carry on.

Recently my misanthropy has shot through the roof, to the point where I’m wishing death on random people for the smallest of things. Obviously not towards friends, but mainly when I’m on public transport or walking through town. If you were a random person this week and you did something as minor as walking too slowly in front of me, I probably fantasised about ripping your eyes out with my bare hands, shoving you into a combine harvester and feeding your useless remains to pigs and then making bacon from said pigs, you stupid fuck!


I’m not sure when the last entry will be released. But it might be either the end of next week or the week after.

@rickvanmeijel
@theearlywalker
@titan2025
@AJ_7


#125

Enjoyed both stories

And word of adivce Rob dont come near were i live you would probably kill people

And with my real family holidays are the worst

Looking forward to your last one


#126

THIS!! :joy:

This is hilarious, and only you could’ve written it


#127

Read both! Like entry 8 and absolutely love entry 9!!! Well written and well said! Nothing more to add to it…


#128

You already know how I feel about people. I will never forget that day when we met at the station we decided to go to McDonald’s for lunch and when we saw the crowd we both just turned around and walked away from it :joy::joy:


#129

That would be my reaction too… :laughing:


#130

The line was out of the front door. :joy:


#131

dayyyymmmnn that sarcasm :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: hope you made it though

i usually get migraine attacks when im in those situations XD

wish you the best of luck

you know what is worst, those stupid motherfuckers who write obscene things on the bus seats and then put their music as loud as they can and, to be honest, their music is as stupid as them, disgusting people. Moreover, is when those assholes smoke whatever in these buses. Furthermore when those idiots just literally bump into you on purpose and act as idiots when you rinse and wash them with words of their worth. Not to mention when they’ll ask you to open the back door to get the back seats to literally eat the hell of your freaking ass.

that line double killed me :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

those who walk in groups in front and walk as if a piece of shit is stuck in between their asses this I know and who also walk as if they are in their living rooms, i wanna slit their throats cause they make me change my speed of walking which i totally hate.

that,s the reason why i love travelling with my dad cause he will be putting these illiterates in their places. There is much more fun when he is driving when these hoes just abruptly cross the road abruptly while having their bloody eyes in their damned phone along with their earphones on. I wonder if they don’t have at least a little of common sense when they have more than 4 of their senses working.


#132

I’m being dead serious, usually it was 60-90 mins.

That doesn’t happen here.

One of the reasons I hate travelling with my dad, he gets in the driver’s seat and starts raging, usually before he’s even turned the engine over.


#133

Good for you not to go through this martyr

I guess every dads are like that


#134

Martyr? Are you sure you’re using that word correctly?


#135

martyrdom I meant XD I translated it literally from French