First I want to say hello to everybody.
I’m new to the site but have been listening to LP for about 10 years. They were always my favourite band and I like to say they were my “first” band, “first” music I remember actually listening to that wasn’t influenced by my parents’ musical tastes (I was 10 at the time.) Anyway, they are very important to me. I’ve spent literally half of my life listening to their songs, from elementary, to high school, to today when I’m in collage while also raising a son.
During the last few years I kind of “neglected” LP and music as a whole actually, because I’ve felt like I outgrew most of my favourite music bands/genres and I’ve felt like I just don’t have time for it (?). I’ve heard some of their “new” songs either on TV, movies, video games, etc. but haven’t paid mind to listen to the whole albums (after ATS), “I’ll do it once” I said.
On that 20th of July, I was feeling rather happy and content (I put my baby to sleep at a reasonable time and had some time for my self.) My mother, who is more on Twitter than I am, comes from another room (same happened with Chris) asking me “Have you heard? Chester Bennington died.” There was silence. Suddenly I wasn’t content anymore and I had feeling like something was clenching my throat. I felt my tears coming up even though I knew it can’t be true. I immediately got up to check every news, every source, to make sure it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. Why would it be? They just released a new album, he had a wife, kids… Wasn’t he happy? I didn’t know he had problems, depression.
I realized I didn’t know anything about my favourite band and singer. I felt so ashamed and sad in that moment that I haven’t heard their last three albums, that I haven’t followed them on social media, that I’ve missed on so much. I still am.
And then the sages of grieving… maybe it’s a hoax, maybe he and Chris were murdered, maybe this is a dream…
Right now I like to think the fame and spotlight was too much for him and maybe he wanted to get away from it all. Maybe he even wanted to leave the band or something. My point is, maybe he just wanted some peace and faked his death and everybody’s in on it and he’s somewhere, happy with his friends, wife, kids… That’s how I’m currently coping with this…
I feel like I lost a best friend that I lost touch with some time ago. And now it’s too late to turn back.