I haven’t really been on here in a hot second, but i feel like I’ve kinda lost myself. I lost my mom in a way similar to Chester’s passing a few months back, and i really let myself spiral. I guess I’m asking for help? like if anyone has a similar experience, how do you deal with it? I’m a total mama’s boy and I’m lost. I drink every night now and i go throughout my days stoned because i can’t handle the reality that comes with sobriety. Im failing out of school and I’ve pushed away my family, and the little voice in the back of my head won’t stop telling me how bad I’m doing at life. Mike’s recent music has helped me a LOT and i really relate to what he’s writing but i don’t know how to get out of this hole that I’ve dug myself into. Like i feel like we’ve experienced somewhat similar hardships recently and i find solidarity in that but i can’t live my life with ‘oh someone else is going through it too’ because everyone else around me is doing a lot better than i am and i keep beating myself up over it. oh man. anyone got any ideas on how to snap myself out of this?
I’m sorry for your loss. I think it’s brave of you to speak out and ask for help! About this situation, I personally don’t have much experience with this, but I’m here to talk if you need it. A lot of us are actually. I know this is hard, but try to stay away from the alcohol. It won’t help you solve anything.
On a lighter note, welcome to the LPU
So sorry about your loss. The first step is realizing you were spiraling. I cannot give much advice except that, don’t push away the people that love you and lean on them when you need to. My second advice would be maybe see a psychologist if you are able to? You have had to deal with so much in a short amount of time and they may be able to help you with coping strategies.
And welcome to the LPU!
I’m sorry for your loss.
Totally agree with @AJ_7, I think the best thing to do is to see a professional like a psychologist. But it’s important to choose the right one. Maybe you can find some informations on the web?
If it’s too difficult to go to a psychologist (because sometimes it’s not easy to speak about our problems in front of someone, i know that), maybe there are some associations which can help you? Maybe there is a free number to call to speak to a voluntary helper (i don’t know if this is the right word)?
Maybe for alcohol, everytime you want to buy it, just try to buy a juice or other soft drink that seems good and that you’ve never try. There is beer without alcohol too.
And, i don’t know if you’re doing sport, but it’s good for your mental health to do some physical activities. It helps you to let off steam and also encourage you to drink water instead of alcohol.
I’m sure you can find solutions to your problems. I hope i’ve helped you a bit. Remember time is important, if you’re not ready just begin with little things to take care of yourself.
Welcome to the LPU, we are here for you if you need to.
thank you, I really appreciate it. Seeing a psychologist isn’t really an option because i’m not of age and my dad doesn’t exactly, believe in therapy. Im in a marching percussion group and play a few instruments which used to be an escape for me but I’ve just kind of lost motivation for it all i guess. thank you for the advice, ill definitely check some stuff out online.
I don’t really have access to a psychologist, my family isn’t the most supportive when it comes to poor mental health. and I’m not really new but thank you for the welcome! i appreciate it
Look at how Mike Shinoda has handled this past year. The man is blasting through stages of grief by focusing on something that he cares about and that he’s good at. He will make a full album within 11 months of Chester’s passing. That’s a ton of work and it’s proof that Mike needed an outlet to vent. Similarly, you need an outlet. You need to find something that you enjoy doing, that you feel you’re good at or would like to get better at. Find some sort of creative or physical outlet that let’s you improve yourself and draw your attention towards that. Let the pain of your current situation provide the fuel to take you from where you currently are to where you’d like to be later on. Don’t put any added stress on yourself but do find and exploit your personal outlet.
i am so sorry for your lost and i agree with everything that’s been said and the LPu well always be here for you
Nice to meet you!
Sorry to hear about your story… stay strong soldier and try to follow the advices the guys said in here…
I’m so sorry for your loss
Hi Damien, first off I’m so sorry about your mom. It is always awful when someone loses a parent.
After Chester died I noticed myself spiraling as well… my behavior was becoming destructive, I was binge eating and binge drinking, blowing all of my money. I finally decided to go seek counseling and I have been going once a week for the last month. For me personally, this has really started to help me. I’m the kind of person that bottles up all of my emotions and never talks to anyone about how I’m feeling- I just numb myself with food and alcohol. So having this new healthy outlet has been a great way to get stuff off my chest and find some guidance.
Also, I’ve started eating healthier going back to the gym in order to lose weight and start gaining some self esteem and confidence back. Listening to LP while lifting weights and pushing through a hard workout is super gratifying and Chester’s screams really push me to make it through.
Those two things combined have really helped me get a clear head and get back on track to a healthier, happier lifestyle. Not saying either is right for you BUT I would definitely say you should consider counseling. It may be a great thing for you! Please take care of yourself and your mental health. Chester would want that for you
I just realized you said you don’t have access to a psychologist? Do you have health insurance? If so you can go through your plan! And whether or not your dad believes in it or not, that shouldn’t be a factor in your decision- UNLESS, perhaps doing family counseling with him with you, he’ll see how much hurt you’re going through and maybe counseling will help him better handle your grief as well.
Try drawing/art or writing, when I feel hopeless or get stuck in my head I draw or write stuff.
I mostly draw or write how I’m feeling, so like I started writing,recently, a book about this rock star with depression and things like that and I start to feel better as I lost myself in the work. And it gets my mind off of everything.
I hope this is helpful for you❤️
There’s been tons of great advice already here for you and though none of our attempts may work just remember you need one thing to work for you to be beneficial to you…
I just got through thinking I’d lose my momma too, and for a good second I thought life would change forever
at the same time I get that helpless feeling and I get how it’s like to be a mamas boy haha you go through a lot together and it’s rare to replicate a feeling like that
The advice I would give you though would be to take things one day at a time
Give yourself small attainable goals that will make you feel accomplished little by little
You have to work at it and put the time in but one day at a time will help relieve the tensions that come with the helpless thoughts of “where do I go now? What’s next? Etc etc”
Give yourself a chance to see the bright side of even the smallest things and you’ll teach yourself and it’ll become a habit to think positively
It’s a bitch starting off, and finding motivation is a struggle but give yourself the opportunity to show your strength
It’s in there-you just gotta find out how to tap into it
Don’t dwell on everything that needs to be done months from now or where you gotta be in a year
That’ll resolve itself in time
Plan that future but then tell yourself each day what it is you have to do to get there
Dont try taking everything all at once in one day, little by little you’ll gain acceptance, a brighter outlook, strength within yourself, and reasons to make your momma and te rest of your family proud on your own merits
I wish you the very best and if I can somehow help I and the rest of us will be here to listen
I would reiterate what the others have said about counselling and health professionals but if that’s not an option then I would say it can help to just talk to
It could be anyone; a friend or colleague. Although I would recognise (and I don’t mean to be patronising at all) that sometimes younger people don’t have the maturity to respond in the right way. So if you tell a friend and they don’t respond in the right way, don’t feel that it means you’re feelings aren’t valid and important.
If you’re still in education you could try a teacher or the leader of your band practice or any other organisation or activity you’re involved with.
I’ve been to a counsellor and it helped me understand just how damaging it came been to bottle things up, and just by sharing you’re experience and feelings about it with another person you can begin to relieve the heaviness or what you’re having to deal with. It might be small but it helps.
It’s also great that you’re reaching out on here.
Hey Damien ,
sorry bro, …to hear your recent news.
I feel for you, I really do! theres sincerity in my voice when I say that!
Speaking of voices… Chester bennington, The Best in my opinion!!, …watch some funny moments of Chester and Green Day front man.
-Thank you YouTuber CrazyVrabcek.
Hang in there Damien!
Time will get you through this, alcohol won’t.
Substitute alcohol with something that will keep you occupied.
Their steps, and a process for you to cope with your grieving and loss. Find someone you trust or can talk to and will help you through that process. Reach out to people that are willing to help, it’s good to have someone by your side during this time. If you know somebody who else is going through the same feelings you are about your loss, work as a team and lean on each other to get you both through this.
One day at a time!
Keep on touch!
what i meant by is i don’t have access, is i’m underage and can’t get it without my dad. which he wouldn’t do. i’ve honestly wanted to see one for a while but my dad isn’t the best when it comes to acknowledging poor mental health? he kinda refuses to
If he doesn’t care your mental healt, then go with someone else, talk with someone who you trust. You need help now, not when he wants. That what I can say. Maybe it is not the best advise, but is the only I can tell you now.
Do you have access to a guidance counselor from any school? Not sure how it works, but wondering if you could just walk in and talk to one near you?
Oh jeeze, okay now I get it. And I’m sorry about your dad not being understanding, that really stinks. Are you in school with access to a counselor?
If not, do you have a credit or debit card? Or maybe you can borrow one from a friend or family member? I just googled some stuff and there’s an app called Talkspace Online Therapy. You can download it and get connected to a licensed therapist based on what you’re looking to seek help for. You can do live video chats too! It’s $49/month. Which is actually way cheaper than what an in-person appointment is!