We were on training camp. We stayed in (kind of) apartments above the waxing cells at Vysočina arena. There was no wifi… Well, there was one weak dot of signal in the very corner of the furthest room. Anyway, it was enough to once play the new Linkin Park video that came out just the evening before we were leaving. It was the music video to my favorite song - Talking to Myself. I absolutely loved it since the first time I saw it and I could not wait ‘till I see it again, the next day, at home.
The 21st of July was just as ordinary as any other last day of training camp. We packed our bags to the car, sat on our bikes - and hurray home. All I could think about was Talking to Myself and its new video, I was singing it in my head all the time we rode the bike. Dad was already waiting in the car at the agreed spot to drive me home (since I wouldn’t be able to go like 150km on bike ).
As soon as I got home, I started to unpack the clothes from the training camp. I didn’t even check the phone yet… And that was the time my twin brother came to our room. He used to like Linkin Park several years ago but something went wrong in his head and he started to hate their music (from incomprehensible reasons) - probably just to argue with me. That afternoon (it was like 1pm) he came to our room and started to talk like: ‘Have you heard the news? About that punk singer, he committed suicide,’ laughing while saying that. I was busy unpacking so I was like ‘whatever, I don’t care’. But he wouldn’t stop. ‘It was some Chester Bennington, from Linkin Park. You like Linkin Park, don’t you? What are you going to listen now, when he’s dead?’ Everything inside of me just stopped, but I still didn’t believe him. He pranks me very often. But this voice in my head was telling me to check the phone, just ‘What if’. I opened Facebook and the hell came. Every single article was about Chester, there were photos of him and all the headlines saying: ‘Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, dead by suicide at age 41’.
My world went black, everything seemed like a dream… But it wasn’t. I checked Twitter, too, to make sure and every tweet was the same: ‘Rest In Peace, Chester!’. I didn’t even cry, I was just shaking and I still didn’t believe. I didn’t want to believe. I’ve never felt like that before.
I tried not to think about it but I couldn’t. I was telling myself that it doesn’t bother me and I even talked like: ‘That’s weird, how can I be so sad about Chester when I never met him, he didn’t know I live ’. When I went to bed I couldn’t close my eyes, because there were all the articles and images of Chester… it was sad and scary at the same time.
The days after I don’t quite remember. All I know was this never ending sadness and hopelesness. Always when I was in a bad situation or I just felt down there was some Linkin Park song to lift me up. Chester’s voice telling me that I’m not alone… But not now… I didn’t even think about listening to music. I started drawing - Chester, obviously - and as I wanted to share it with other fans, I ‘found’ this forum. Since then everything was getting better. I really wish I got there from another reason than sharing a tribute to Chester, but still, I’m so glad I am part of this family.
Thank you ️