So I’ve been lurking around here (hi, social anxiety that makes talking to people even online hard, it’s nice to have you around) but I just wanted to say that the last couple of days the things I’ve seen from this community, and the way everyone got together and tried to help one another, just blew me away. I’ve never experienced anything like this and, I don’t even know. it’s half surreal. I just wanna say from the bottom of my heart. every single one of you have been so supportive & such a rising positivity to not only myself, but to each other as well. We need more love in the world. you don’t know how incredibly thankful, humbled, grateful & blessed all of you are. Sending all of my love to you. If there’s anything to take from this tragedy- there is many things-
- we really need to learn to talk about how we feel and not feel shame in confiding in someone
- we need to learn to listen. be there for other people and let them vent, even if you don’t know what to say in the moment, having someone listen can be a great help.
- we have survived 100% of our bad days. of you are alive it means you have overcome everything you were ever afraid of. that means something.
Some of us are in far more pain than can be explained so we try to vent in different ways to try and show the world just how much pain is there. The problem is most people can’t look past themselves until it’s too late… When you find that someone, whether it be a good friend or boyfriend/girlfriend or online community, such as this one, where people actually try to make sense of the pain that’s being felt, it makes a world of difference. I just want to say you are all doing an amazing job here. It’s great to see you all support each other like a family. Stay strong and keep chatting and venting, we’re here to support each other as much as possible. You are not alone and we’ll get through this together.
You know what? the more i hear people say that he was selfish for doing what he did, i ask them this,
"If someone came up to you and said "Do you want loads of money? Do you want to be famous? Do you want a big house? Flashy car? Beautiful wife and kids? Everything you ever wished for… or do you wish to be hung?“
What would you say? Tough choice isn’t it? Who’s the selfish one now? This is how bad his illness was, he chose death, you are nothing without your mental health, nothing.When someone is ready to commit suicide like that, it is a madness, they have gone completely mad. They are not thinking straight, the madness has taken them over completely”
But earlier today, my stepdad and me have been talking on the phone for 20 minutes talking about life and how much Linkin Park meant to me and how he was the one that got me on Linkin Park in 2000 when I was just about 10 years old at the time. He’s in California, he took flowers & posters to Chester’s house and even my open letter that I wrote for him 4 years ago after seeing them in concert., about how much him & the band meant to me. He even offered me some life advice, If I see anyone struggling with depression, any type of anxiety or drugs, alcohol & sexual abuse, help them, doesn’t matter if I know them or not, just sit down, talk to them, take them out for lunch and just let your presence be known so that they know they’re not alone in this world.
So as a 27 year old single mother, who has been sexually abused at 11, loss of a parent on my 16th bday to cancer, losing 2 brothers to car accidents, losing a close friend to suicide & there were my bad days when i would drink & cut myself, well as of today, I am 8 months sober. I never thought on how strong I was until today. Growing up listening and idolizing grunge, punk, nu-metal, hell even alternative music even in this day in age. I am so happy to be alive and getting to see alot of my favorite bands & getting to enjoy my life.
And to Chester,
I wish you were here. I wouldn’t call you selfish at all, instead you were fucking brave for fighting your demons for as long as you could. As for your bandmates, even though they were aware of your demons, they have saved you in more ways that you could’ve known. As for Talinda, she saved you even when you were going through your rough divorce from Samantha. Talinda loved you dearly & deeply as you did for her. Your kids will forever understand on how much of a wonderful man & loving father you were to them. I know they will be alright. In the end, Chester, you were brave, not selfish, but YOU WERE FUCKING BRAVE! I am not mad at you. I know plenty of people who have went through the same ordeal with losing a loved one to Suicide. I mourn for all human beings. You sir, are one of them. I hope you have found peace where ever you are, but Talinda, the kids, your friends and your bandmates will forever have a Guardian Angel and that is you. I will continue to pray for this world & i will continue to listen to LP music. That’s how I get through my personal demons, that’s how I cope & I will keep fighting for you and for everyone that has (and still are) suffering with depression, anxiety and mental illness. We all miss dearly, RIP rockstar!