My Open Letter For Chester & Everyone


#1

So I’ve been lurking around here (hi, social anxiety that makes talking to people even online hard, it’s nice to have you around) but I just wanted to say that the last couple of days the things I’ve seen from this community, and the way everyone got together and tried to help one another, just blew me away. I’ve never experienced anything like this and, I don’t even know. it’s half surreal. I just wanna say from the bottom of my heart. every single one of you have been so supportive & such a rising positivity to not only myself, but to each other as well. We need more love in the world. :heart::black_heart: you don’t know how incredibly thankful, humbled, grateful & blessed all of you are. Sending all of my love to you. If there’s anything to take from this tragedy- there is many things-

  1. we really need to learn to talk about how we feel and not feel shame in confiding in someone
  2. we need to learn to listen. be there for other people and let them vent, even if you don’t know what to say in the moment, having someone listen can be a great help.
  3. we have survived 100% of our bad days. of you are alive it means you have overcome everything you were ever afraid of. that means something.
    Some of us are in far more pain than can be explained so we try to vent in different ways to try and show the world just how much pain is there. The problem is most people can’t look past themselves until it’s too late… When you find that someone, whether it be a good friend or boyfriend/girlfriend or online community, such as this one, where people actually try to make sense of the pain that’s being felt, it makes a world of difference. I just want to say you are all doing an amazing job here. It’s great to see you all support each other like a family. Stay strong and keep chatting and venting, we’re here to support each other as much as possible. You are not alone and we’ll get through this together.

You know what? the more i hear people say that he was selfish for doing what he did, i ask them this,
"If someone came up to you and said "Do you want loads of money? Do you want to be famous? Do you want a big house? Flashy car? Beautiful wife and kids? Everything you ever wished for… or do you wish to be hung?“
What would you say? Tough choice isn’t it? Who’s the selfish one now? This is how bad his illness was, he chose death, you are nothing without your mental health, nothing.When someone is ready to commit suicide like that, it is a madness, they have gone completely mad. They are not thinking straight, the madness has taken them over completely”

But earlier today, my stepdad and me have been talking on the phone for 20 minutes talking about life and how much Linkin Park meant to me and how he was the one that got me on Linkin Park in 2000 when I was just about 10 years old at the time. He’s in California, he took flowers & posters to Chester’s house and even my open letter that I wrote for him 4 years ago after seeing them in concert., about how much him & the band meant to me. He even offered me some life advice, If I see anyone struggling with depression, any type of anxiety or drugs, alcohol & sexual abuse, help them, doesn’t matter if I know them or not, just sit down, talk to them, take them out for lunch and just let your presence be known so that they know they’re not alone in this world.

So as a 27 year old single mother, who has been sexually abused at 11, loss of a parent on my 16th bday to cancer, losing 2 brothers to car accidents, losing a close friend to suicide & there were my bad days when i would drink & cut myself, well as of today, I am 8 months sober. I never thought on how strong I was until today. Growing up listening and idolizing grunge, punk, nu-metal, hell even alternative music even in this day in age. I am so happy to be alive and getting to see alot of my favorite bands & getting to enjoy my life.

And to Chester,
I wish you were here. I wouldn’t call you selfish at all, instead you were fucking brave for fighting your demons for as long as you could. As for your bandmates, even though they were aware of your demons, they have saved you in more ways that you could’ve known. As for Talinda, she saved you even when you were going through your rough divorce from Samantha. Talinda loved you dearly & deeply as you did for her. Your kids will forever understand on how much of a wonderful man & loving father you were to them. I know they will be alright. In the end, Chester, you were brave, not selfish, but YOU WERE FUCKING BRAVE! I am not mad at you. I know plenty of people who have went through the same ordeal with losing a loved one to Suicide. I mourn for all human beings. You sir, are one of them. I hope you have found peace where ever you are, but Talinda, the kids, your friends and your bandmates will forever have a Guardian Angel and that is you. I will continue to pray for this world & i will continue to listen to LP music. That’s how I get through my personal demons, that’s how I cope & I will keep fighting for you and for everyone that has (and still are) suffering with depression, anxiety and mental illness. We all miss dearly, RIP rockstar!


#2

It’s a beautiful letter.
Congratulations for being such a strong woman.
We all need inspiring histories as yours to get through this.


#3

@shakitaslater90 Your writing has blessed me beyond words. This is how we should celebrate Chester’s life, remembering the beauty and kindness he possessed inside. I truly believe his heart was filled with compassion and love. There was nothing negative in Chester’s heart. Your heart felt words echo the same beauty. Please never ever let your heart be tainted. Thank you again for sharing your heart with all of us. :heart:


#4

Such a beautiful and truthful letter. Yes, he was brave, he fought as long as he could and managed to help everyone at the same time.

We need to be supportive to each other, his family and the band to be able to get through this.

@shakitaslater90 I also have been through much of a hard stuff and a suicidal situation. But your story blew me away, thank you for sharing it with us. I can’t imagine how you could live through all this, you’re so strong, I want to be like you now, you are my hero :slight_smile:
I wish you stay strong and that many beautiful days come in your life. Though I know it’s hard now, they will come and we will all recover. We are not alone, we have each other.


#5

@mishelka3 @susie88 @taissacartolano

How I was able to get through any of this without breaking down mentally and emotionally? I go to therapy twice a week, I take valium to calm my nerves when I am stressed out, I do yoga/pilates, I write, I spend time with my son, I work 2 jobs, so I try to keep everything together. My teenage years were rough, but I managed to get through. Music does saves lives, people need to understand that more. I want everyone to see my story and be able to overcome theirs. It’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to be different, it’s okay to be yourself. You’re not alone.
We all have bad days, some more than others. We all need to help and support one another to overcome HATE, because LOVE is all we need. Thank you all so much for reading and for your kind words. Those are things my family and most of my friends don’t know about. Even during those hard times I’ve had problems with relationships. Hopefully one day, I’ll find someone to love me and appreciate me for everything like Chester has found Talinda


#6

@shakitaslater90 You will my sister find the right person who will love you for you. You have a heart that cares, and loves so deeply. Keep your chin up and continue to be the beautiful caring person you are. God bless you. :pray:t3:


#7

That was a very unique perspective and a difficult yet inspiring account
It really does show everyone that if someone has the courage and determination to get through so much then maybe our own stories deserve that much fight and determination as well
thank you for joining the community and contributing in a positive way
hope to see all of you around other threads as well, feel free to join in :slight_smile:


#8

Thank you so much. Just spreading positivity and hoping my story can help people cope with this loss and many more things. :heart::black_heart: