Linkin Park – Somewhere I belong 3:33
Tomas had a mate at school named Thomas (let’s call him Tom for convenience). Tom was very impressed with Tomas’ progress and his physique. He explained to Tomas that he met a guy who was called ‘Rambo’ by everyone, and he recently gave up his secret to him on how to get big. Fast! Apparently, there was a magic powder that makes the muscles grow very fast. Name of that “magic” powder was ‘Protein’. The Year was 1999 and protein powder was not very well known at that time. Tomas’ mom got very worried when he suggested, that he would like to buy one. He had to go with his mom to the GP (general practitioner), to ask if it’s safe for him to buy it. To the surprise of his mom, general practitioner actually suggested that would be a very good idea, pointing out Tomas’ still very skinny frame. That was probably the only one time in his life, when Tomas was actually glad that he was ‘‘skinny’’, as now, he had the magic muscle powder! The practitioner suggestion reinforced his belief of its power even further that it will actually work! Of course, him and his mate Tom, had no intention to tell anyone what they are about to do. They were looking forward becoming as big as Arnold Schwarzenegger! Tomas couldn’t wait to see the faces of all the disbelievers. To prove to everyone, especially to his family, that he can get muscular and manly! He was tired of being the skinniest guy ever! Even Tom was considered a skinny guy, but because of his ‘normal’ male bone structure, even though he was as skinny as Tomas, he was still about 6kg heavier, and just looked bigger overall. He wanted to let go of the pain that he felt for so long every time, that he overheard someone commenting on his skeleton like appearance, or the size of a ‘little girl’! He wanted to have what deep in his subconscious, he himself didn’t believe he will ever have. It was engraved into him by almost everyone he knew. Those who didn’t say anything yet, he knew they are thinking the same, just not saying it loud. Always felt lonely in his situation. Even if there were other skinny people, he was “special”, but in a bad way…Like, you’re beyond hope. ‘Life had fucked you up beyond repair’ he thought. ‘There is nothing you can do about it, just deal with it, learn to live with it!’ That is what they all were really telling him, without saying it directly. He just wanted to feel like he belonged somewhere. That he is no more ‘special’ in a bad way. He needed to “heal”, there was nothing to lose, just gain.
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